The other day I was aimlessly scrolling through Pinterest (I like to do that when I feel overwhelmed or when I need inspiration). I came across a quote that really hit home and I probably read it over and over a hundred times…
Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.
-Rick Warren
I think the reason this hit home so much is because your 20’s are SO tough. I think every season of life brings its challenges, but it seems like the 20’s might be the toughest due to the amount of growth and changes that take place. I mean think about it- you start your 20’s in college- life is good, you might not have your own bills to pay, parties are frequent, and you have a lot of structure in your day-to-day life. Then you graduate, you’re on your own and are left to make your own decisions. You start a job, get married, buy a house and figure out what the heck a mortgage is (LOL help), have children, maybe move several times…. all while having probably the least amount of money that you’ll have during your lifetime. Obviously some cases are different- not everyone will get married in their 20’s, not everyone will have children, etc., but that’s why this quote is SO important.
We spend SO MUCH TIME comparing ourselves to others. I think we can thank social media for that. If I had a dollar for every time I scrolled on social media and thought “dang that girl has amazing abs! I wish I had abs like hers” or “wow he’s my age and takes such lavish trips… why can’t I afford to do that?” I do this so much and I know I’m not the only one. It’s human nature to compare. This being said, I think that everyone has secret struggles. Some people have more than others, but everyone’s got something. We all think at some point that we aren’t good enough, don’t make enough money, aren’t fit enough, aren’t where we should be in life… etc. But I guarantee that if we stopped comparing ourselves for five minutes and thought about how far we actually HAVE come then we’d give ourselves much more grace.
I truly struggle with grace. Grace is such a funny thing… you give yourself too much grace and you get lazy… you don’t give yourself enough grace and you wear yourself out. Ideally your mindset falls somewhere in between. For me, I struggle with perfectionism. I have been that way my entire life. I strive for perfect outcomes in everything I do and when it doesn’t happen I get mad at myself rather than giving myself grace when things don’t work out. One thing I am continuously working on is giving myself more grace where I need it. Success doesn’t happen overnight and to be honest I’m pretty dang proud of myself and how far I’ve come when I look back on it.
Sometimes I think it just takes a swift kick in the butt (especially from those closest to us) to remember all that we’ve accomplished and continue to achieve day to day. For me, this person has always been my parents and of course Zach. I see Zach more often so he consistently building me up when I attempt to break myself down. He knows I’m hard on myself just like I am with most people. I don’t give grace easily- I’m a realist and I firmly believe everyone has the potential to do amazing things… so when they don’t I can be quick to judge (hey… I said I’m still working on it alright!).
Can you imagine the world we would live in if we practiced managing realistic expectations and giving ourselves grace from time to time?! I think we would be so much happier overall. So if you’re like me, and occasionally need someone to remind you that you are SO FREAKING ACCOMPLISHED NO MATTER WHAT STAGE OF LIFE YOU ARE IN, then I’m your girl.
Here’s how I am practicing managing realistic expectations + giving myself grace:
- Remaining calm when things don’t go exactly as planned
- Turning minor imperfections in to jokes- it’s better to laugh it off anyway
- Reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and we are meant to make mistakes daily – life would be pretty boring if we didn’t honestly
- Setting realistic expectations for myself that can actually be accomplished
- Listing 3 good things I’ve accomplished recently (in my head) whenever I think of one bad thing that’s happened
- Talking it out with Zach – sometimes I really just need someone to sit down and listen while I rationalize with myself ( seems silly but it’s like having a referee there while I battle it out lol)
How do you manage realistic expectations & give yourself grace when needed? Let me know in the comments!